How I Saved 500 Lives

This weekend, I saved 500 lives in about 10 minutes. Before you nominate me for inspiring person of the year, though, I should clarify that the lives I saved were vermi-lives. In other words, they were worms.

It started when I went downstairs to change over the laundry. As I shifted the clothes from washer to dryer, I heard a strange sound coming from my nearby worm compost bin. It was almost a gurgle, which isn't something you want to hear in your worm compost bin. Am I right, or am I right?

I lifted the lid of the bin, and there, wriggling on top of the produce scraps and shredded paper inside, were at least 500 of my red wigglers.

They seemed upset.

But what could be bothering them? Why weren't they nestled down in the shmutz instead of writhing on top of it?

It was then that I noticed a little blorp of liquid oozing out from a corner of where the bottom of the bin meets the catch-basin below. And then I had one of those "sparks" moments where suddenly it was clear what was going on, what I needed to do, and how.

What was going on: The worms were drowning in their own "compost tea," which is a nice phrase for the water and worm poop that collect at the bottom of a composter. Tea = great for plants, lousy for worms.

What I needed to do: Use the convenient tea spigot on the bin and for God's sake drain the tea out of there!

How: Because here's the thing about compost tea....it stinks like the worm poop it is. So after hunting around for a suitable lidded container, I discovered a jar that I had bought maybe 4 years ago intending to fill with dried spices. It's a big jar, though, and no one needs that much spice. So there it sat, in my basement, just calling out to be filled with compost tea.

Within hours after the drain-off, the worms were happily snuggled back into their deliciously rotting beds. And did you hear that? It was the sound of 500 worms going, "aaaaaah." You're welcome, my lowly friends.